What I've learned in 2 weeks

So this was our first time as parents and I'm not going to lie, we were scared, anxious, and worried we would do something wrong. The first few days home went pretty good. Collin was mostly waking up every 2-4 hours to nurse, and Dustin took baby duty and slept on the couch in the living room with him, bringing him in to me to nurse, diaper, and lay back down when he showed signs of hunger. I was pretty much playing Human Bottle at night, which worked because my C-section pain seemed to be worst at night, and I was keeping my legs elevated to relieve the massive swelling I had from the fluids pumped into me at the hospital. My legs, thighs and feet were so swollen that my pregnancy stretch pants barely fit, and I had to wear Dustin's stretched-out thong sandals because nothing else fit my feet. My legs were so bad that they were actually rock hard, and I thought they would end up splitting open from the pressure. I had actually left the hospital the same weight I was when I went in, which was pretty discouraging when you've gained 60 lbs! A good note is that after 2 days of elevation, I managed to pee out 25 lbs of fluid overnight. Yes, 25 lbs. And since then I've lost another 5-6 lbs, putting me halfway to where I need to be. We all need little things like that to offer encouragement, especially when we're told not to exercise for 6 weeks, and not to diet while breastfeeding.

Those feelings I mentioned were even worse in me, because Dustin's 10 days off from the Navy started the day I went into labor, so he returned to work on Sunday. Monday and Tuesday he was gone all day for an Army physical in San Jose, 2-3 hours away. And he worked again Wednesday and today. Given that he works 14 hour nights (and that's if he comes home on time), I was on full-time baby duty for 5 days straight and it's starting to wear me thin. I don't know how single moms can do it alone. Collin goes on crying spells from 10 PM to 4 AM, and in the case of today he didn't stop crying every time I put him down until 4 or 5 PM, when I got a nice hour-long nap. It's amazing how such a short nap can change your ability to cope with the world. Every time I laid Collin down, he was quiet for 10 minutes if I was lucky and then started crying again. And I cried with him, begging for just a half hour of uninterrupted sleep.

Finally, last night, I pulled out the Fisher-Price Rainforest Swing that was gifted to us at the baby shower. He actually slept for 2 hours, with just a single cry or whimper here and there. I was amazed. I always heard it's not good for babies to sleep in the swings, but searching around the internet I can't find anything that supports that. I am finding a lot of people use the swings to get them to sleep until they are 2-3 months old and they start being able to sleep through the night on their own. I'm at the point where I try to keep him in his Pack n Play as much as possible, but if he starts up and I'm starting to get delirious, I'm letting him sleep in there.

To close, here's a few things I've learned in the past 2 weeks:

- I can do a lot more one-handed than I previously thought

- I can last on catnaps a lot better than I previously thought

- Nursing is a lot more taxing than you would think, and I'm really envious of formula moms who can actually get a good night's sleep when someone is watching the baby for them

- Following that, having a pump will be a lifesaver for me, and I already started saving up milk today

- If you like an outfit a lot, babies will pee or spit up all over it the first chance they get. If you don't like it, it will be spotless all day

- With boys, ALWAYS COVER THE PEEPEE DURING CHANGES! I can't stress that enough. Also, a towel or blanket under then on the changing table is worth it if you want to avoid pee going up their back and all over their clothes

-Babies will sleep when it's the least appropriate and you won't be able to wake them up no matter what you do. They'll also stay awake and/or wake up when you are praying for them to sleep

- Babies REALLY ARE poop-sleep-eat-cry machines!

Collin's birth story

Collin James Phillips was born at 8:03 pm on May 6, 2010. He is 9lbs 7.9 oz and 21 inches long, with brown hair and (currently) blue eyes.

I went in for my stress test May 5 at 11 AM and there was a heartrate drop during a contraction that concerned them...since I was full term they decided it was better to induce me than have something happen if I went home. I was induced starting at 4 PM with Prostaglandin, went into (back) labor at 11 PM that night, and Pitocin was started at 4 AM May 6th. My water broke around 7 AM and I managed without any pain meds until 11 AM when the combo of all that just got too strong and a narcotic shot didn't help for longer than 30 minutes. I went on an epidural and really quickly dilated the rest of the way about 2 cm per hour (twice as fast as "good progress" is). My father flew in from Buffalo and made it in around 3. Shortly after it was time to push. I pushed for 4 hours and his head just wasn't fitting through...we thought it was an 8.5 lb-er at the time but now we know why he didn't fit. He was stuck at -1 station and only 1/2 of his head could mold enough to make it through.

Nonetheless, I cried over the decision to head to a C-section and the whole process. I felt like the non-stress tests that I didn't really need led them to seeing a case of the heart rate dropping (which could have been an error in the machine, a fluke, him squeezing his cord, all kinds of things), which led to me being forced to an induction, which led to stronger contractions and me needing pain medication, which meant I couldn't move around any more (and it was tough to move anyways since I had to have the infant monitors on me the whole time and they slip around easily), and finally being stuck with a c-section. Plus I was exhausted from no sleep since 8 AM the morning before and dealing with labor pains from 11 PM the night before. I still understood what I had to do, but I'll always wonder if my hips would have spread enough if I had allowed labor to start naturally and at home.

I had 2 cases of absolutely horrible back muscle spasms when they gave me a shot of Lidocaine, and for some reason the Anesthesiologist insisted that they had nothing to do with the medication he injected (I guess that's why he did it a second time after the first time threw me into the worst pain in my life for 15 minutes?). It was so bad that I was screaming and writhing in pain and gripping the arm rests and all I wanted to do was die. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy, I can say that is the worst pain I will probably ever experience in my life. Another Anesthesiologist I saw after the birth told me it was probably because it wasn't placed correctly and the injection went out into the surrounding back tissue rather than into the cord where it belongs, which is what caused the back spasms. Probably also due to the incorrect placement, they couldn't numb me from the waist down so I had to be put under completely for the c-section, which meant Dustin couldn't be in the room with me. I have to say, I wasn't disappointed as I was still experiencing back spasm pain. Collin was delivered at 8:03 PM and I was woken up and taken to see him at 11 PM. Luckily, his blood glucose didn't drop below 50 which meant they could delay on giving him formula and instead I could breastfeed. I think the nurses were really pulling for that considering it was super important to me and they saw how everything else fell apart. From there it went great though, I was walking the next afternoon and managing on minor pain meds since then...finally got to shower and have my IV, BP cuff, heart monitor, etc taken off Friday night (best shower I've ever taken). I was supposed to go home Saturday but they kept me because of some high blood pressure and pulse readings, so I finally got released around noon today. Most of the nurses, my midwife, one of the doctors handling most of the process, and the 2 Peds we saw were great. We're gonna have to get some baked goods to drop off next week for everyone.

I'm disappointed everything went pretty much opposite of my birth plan, but proud that I lasted 12 hours in such hard labor and worked at a fast recovery from a c-section. I'm confident I did everything I could have done right and that next time I could handle a natural, medication free birth if there weren't complications. Now it's time to focus on completely recovering from the c-section, losing the baby weight and being the best mommy I can be!